Month / April 2016

by Therapy place uk

Cheaper than a divorce

BlogCoupleCheaper than a divorce

1 May 2015

Some of the ills of today’s multi-media, socially networked life are that expectations of things can be unrealistically high. From rom-coms to choosing the right restaurant, we all get fed through image and consumption some pretty unobtainable ideas. And in relationships, especially aspects around sex, people can easily become disenchanted.

When expectations are high, the crash of reality can send people heading for the relationship exit way too soon. While separation can be emotionally harrowing, for those who have made joint commitments to mortgages and/or marriage there is a big financial price to pay too.

While I don’t think anyone should remain in a miserable relationship, as a couple’s therapist I see more ‘lack of quality communication’ than outright relationship breakdown. (Believe it or not, poor communication itself can indirectly lead to infidelities.)

If you consider that a study by Aviva (2014) concludes a typical divorcing couple spends £43,958 on the process, you can see the true value of taking some time to talk about your relationship, together with a therapist. Although therapy might initially look expensive, it can represent excellent value when set against the real costs of your relationship turning to ashes.

by Therapy place uk

Suicide rates: can you get the men in your life talking?

BlogSuicide

Suicide rates: can you get the men in your life talking?

22 April 2015

Seven years ago I wrote on the men’s page for Therapy-space Cambridge that ‘thankfully, (with the exception of 2008) in the UK male suicide rates have been falling since 1998’. However, the latest figures released in 2015 by the Office for National Statistics make for sobering reading, given it reports that the number of suicides in the UK has once again risen and the rate for males is the highest it has been for 14 years.

Since I wrote that previous men’s page, male suicide rates have increased significantly, while female rates have stayed relatively constant and have remained lower than those for men.

Looking at past statistics shows that rates for male suicide in 1981 stood at 63% of the total UK rate, but in 2013 the figure had risen to 78%. The increase in the male figure has been a steady one by comparison to female rates.

If you are a male, aged between 30 and 74 but particularly if you are between 45 and 59, then it’s time to start talking because suicide rates in your age group are the highest in the UK. If you are the partner of a man who is depressed, now would be a good time to get him to realise that there’s no stigma in asking for help. Whether it’s talking online or on the telephone to the Samaritans, visiting the family GP or booking a session with a therapist (face to face or via Skype), let’s get men talking: it might just save a life.